5/23/2011

Welcome to the Academy

First three days I pushed paper, heard lecture after lecture, and signed my life away. This is the first step ten of us took into the Department of Corrections at one of the largest prisons in the southern United States. We eventually toured the facility and even got to see the segregation ward--the worst of the worst--where death row and solitary time is served.

This is a new beginning--a new opportunity with lots of potential. I will make the most of it and work hard each day. I can hardly wait!

Finally the first day of uniform came. We were paired off and split up into small groups. I heard segregation, the solitary confinement or detention cells (also where death row inmates go)--was the place to learn the most and advance quickly. Naturally, this is where I decided I wanted to be. It seems I need to be with the hardest, most difficult inmates--maybe to prove something. Just so I know for sure: "Hey--I can do this!"
On the second day of uniform, Friday, we were required to report for night shift to observe the nightly duties and functions. My third day in segregation, second day working there. We're required to wear safety glasses because inmates throw feces and urine--even ejaculate at officers. I have a new nickname: "cracker motherfucker."

Sunday we head to "the Academy." We will have a lot more ahead of us--text book work and physical training exercises (PT). It will be really tough, but I'm not worried--"I got this!"

Note: This is the introduction to a series based on my training for the next five weeks. Stay tuned for more!

11/25/2010

The Best Time of My Life

IMG00219-20101024-1638“Phew!” I let out a sigh of relief as I turned the corner and entered my English classroom. Still tired from working the night before I picked the first desk I came to and put my head down in blatant disregard. The teacher, a tall specimen, slender and with a neatly trimmed haircut, came into the room and immediately announced his presence with an obnoxious “Good afternoon!” I grudgingly lifted my head and sat up. Who did this guy think he was? How dare he interrupt my moment of unconscious consciousness?

That aside his tone was rather subtle yet encouraging. Yes, yes it was a good afternoon. After all, any day six foot above ground would be better than one six foot below. Well, I’m not quite six foot, but being five foot, four inches above ground still fares well in my book. The instructor began his daily task of checking attendance. As he began going down the list of names my brain went in other directions, drowning out the age-old ritual.

Funny thing about roll call is the fact no one ever really notices whether or not a particular person is absent until they fail to announce their presence. Sure, there’s always an exception: that pretty girl who’s missing from the desk next to you, the teacher’s pet who brings the ever-so-seductive red apple each week. The brain who cries when no homework is assigned. But that kid in the back? The one who doesn’t say much or stand out in any particular way—no one notices when he or she is absent until attendance is taken. Attendance—that nice little reminder that any body with a name is somebody.

I digress. This is an essay about “The Best Time of My Life,” or at least that’s the topic the teacher began to scrawl across the blackboard, his hands dirty with a chalky residue all too familiar to teachers across the globe. “What a bland and dull topic,” I thought to myself. “How amateur. What is this? Seventh grade?”

But it wouldn’t matter what I thought.

“The Best Time of [Your] Life.” That was the topic assigned to the class and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I suppose most people wouldn’t have any qualms over a topic such as this. I’m sure most people have an abundance of memories with family and friends to make for very interesting papers. Not me.

Class was soon dismissed and I found myself in math class doing English assignments because the arithmetic was too easy to retain my attention for any length of time. Math, too, was soon dismissed and I decided to brainstorm in my usual spot within the confines of the campus library. I soon found myself lost in a whirlwind rhapsody of Anthony Hamilton, Tupac, and Maxwell among hundreds of tracks which played through my ear buds. It was then, right there in front of everyone, and yet no one at all, that I found my campground of solace--my place within a place. That zone in which, while you may very well be surrounded by dozens of people you are--at the very core of your being and with every fiber of your person--isolated from the entire universe. There is no one and no thing which could possibly pull you back to reality. You are it—you are everything in a world of nothing.

I began to think about all the different things I had experienced thus far in my life trying desperately to not take into consideration the gross number of things which I had yet to partake of. Would I write about the family vacation to Disney World when I was nine? Or how about the trip I took to Ocracoke Island with my great grandmother when I was seven? Perhaps the time I went to King’s Dominion with my mother and rode the Scooby Doo rollercoaster at five. All that remained were vague memories of flowing, golden yellow ballroom gowns, some cracked seashells, and my mother swearing she would never ride another rollercoaster so long as she lived.

So that brings me to the present.

I am now writing this as I sit here with not only one, but both butt cheeks numbingly stuck to this chair wondering how much battery life is left on my music player and how much lead remains in my pencil. “I think I got it,” I just thought to myself, feeling a bit like Archimedes must have when he discovered buoyancy (the main difference being he was naked in a bathtub and I am not). So you were hoping to read an essay about “The Best Time of My Life”? Well, considering everything I wrote I would have to say you’re holding it in your hands and just finished reading all about it.

8/28/2010

One Dreary Wednesday

Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's

It was a dark and dreary night—OK—it was just after lunch and it wasn't dark, but it was dreary. Here, let me start over. "Ahem," clearing my throat.

It was a dreary Wednesday afternoon in English class. I arrived on time, like always, and took my seat. The classroom consisted of about thirty chairs on the classic off-white tile, the cheap kind with gray speckles mixed in so no one notices how unclean the floor really is. The teacher, a wiry middle-aged white man who smoked too much and had a five-o-clock shadow despite the fact it was just after one, came in and went through the typical classroom small talk before beginning his lecture.

Quite the opposite of the typical college stereotype, he spoke with a subtle prose which enlivened the classroom. Every now and then he would throw a word in the air which brought me back down to earth, eagerly anticipating his every word like a Holly Golightly songbird doing Moon River. He began to tell us about our next assignment: "I want each of you to partner up with another and learn a little bit about them. Ask them questions, interview them."

I slowly turned around looking for the young, short-haired girl who sat in my row.

What an interesting way to break the ice and introduce myself, I thought. I would both get to learn a little about this person while at the same time completing my assignment—a surefire winner in my book.

Damn, too late. A husky, dark-haired boy across from me had already seemingly made contact and partnered up. "Oh, well—there's another pretty girl, one with a tattoo, on the other side of the classroom," I thought. I gathered my books and went to the far corner of the room. She, too had partnered up. It seemed as though everyone had a buddy to partner with except for me. Then I noticed a heavyset fellow, dressed in black jeans and matching shirt sitting nearby. He had a nice caramel complexion with braided hair and a nice ball cap. He had a kind, youthful face—the type which if you ever saw his baby pictures you would know it was him instantly.

"Hey man, you got a partner yet?" I asked. "Nope, let's do this," he replied. I introduced myself and extended my hand. "My name's Brandon, what's yours?" "Randal, Randal Sneed."

I picked my chair up and turned it around to face him. Together we formulated an unspoken format for our mock interviews. We would take turns asking questions and offering answers. By the time we finished nearly thirty question-answer combos. I found out that he enjoyed drawing and electronics while he learned that I loved the beautiful colors of autumn. We both love sports cars and super heroes. He loves steak; I love lasagna. We continued for a while, discussing favorite comic book characters and various other hobbies and conversed with the two girls next to us.

Time was suddenly moving at a pace much too fast for my liking.

It was almost time to go so we stood up, shaking hands again and expressing how nice it was to have met one another. I packed up my books and prepared to leave for my next class.

I went into class that day not knowing anyone, having only one objective in mind: pass English 111 with flying colors and unleash my dizzyingly creative writing style on yet another victim. Instead I left with a friend, but not just one—several. In the end, as it turned out, the day no longer appeared quite so dreary after all.

7/14/2010

Chocolate and Flowers

It was about four o'clock in the afternoon. The sky was a metallic gray, the clouds maturing for a torrential rain later in the evening. The wind blew calmly providing a peaceful break from an otherwise hectic day. Four o'clock – the best hour, he thought, to run errands. School busses were scarce and most people were still at work, twiddling their thumbs and watching the hands of the clock.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

It would take a total of about twenty minutes for him to reach town. He was a man on a mission – and his mission was one of love. It was their anniversary, you see, and he was determined to do something special for his significant other. He wasn't rich, and neither was she, but they were happy. Happiness is easier to achieve when you're poor. You simply have nothing else to cling onto. He was a man, but he was hopelessly romantic. He held in his mind a mental movie of exactly how his night would go. Of course, he also knew nothing ever worked the way it was intended. Still, somehow, things always seemed to work out for the better.

A fine mist traveled in the air, the ash-colored, pothole-ridden pavement becoming damp and turning black. The road wound as if one were using a steering wheel to trace the curves of a snake, being careful to adhere tightly to the crevices of its spine. He was sure by the time he finished he would be soaked from top to bottom.

He parked at the end of the lot, near the outdoor section. He always parked there because the register in the back of the store was usually open for checkout. Easy in, easy out. He wondered if he was the only one to do that and decided he wasn't, but still felt proud of his genius. A swift walk inside, straight to the candy aisle first. He knew what he needed: a bag of chocolates and a dozen roses. He had a flower vase and a hand-written note with selected poetry already waiting in the car.

Flowers and chocolate - how could any woman resist?

He knew she had never received something quite like it from any of her former lovers. He knew he was different. He felt it inside, from the heart. That was enough to make it different. It was enough to set him apart and show his affection toward her.

Chocolate - the silky, always smooth texture that melts slowly on your tongue. Sweet and delicate, an indulgence humans have come to know all too well. But not just any chocolate would do. Only caramel-filled Dove chocolate would do because inside the foil wrapper of each one a short "promise" message was printed. There were dozens of messages: some about friendship or life, anecdotes about happiness or little inspirations.

He was looking for one such message in particular and he bought an entire bag in hopes of finding that foil wrapper – and then not tearing it in half by accident like he had done before. She had seen the message before, but this would be a definite surprise. He had planned it this way and was intent on making sure it happened. He was pressed for time. He grabbed the bag of chocolates and headed to the flower stand.

The roses were half wilted, sold in tens rather than dozens, but were reasonably priced. His plan changed, he had to improvise. Instead of an entire dozen, he would leave a single rose. Thus he began looking at each one, inspecting the petals to make sure they were open just enough.

He called a friend who was keeping tabs on her for him. She was still not at home – perfect. He purchased the roses and the chocolate, went out the back entrance to the parking lot and started his car. It was going to storm soon—he had to hurry before she got there so there would be no trace of his visit.

It began raining in town so he opted to stay on the back roads instead of racing against time on the interstate. The stoplights were not kind to him. He glanced over at the passenger seat – the bag of chocolates poking out from the plastic shopping bag. He ripped it open and pulled out two chocolates.

The first one he opened carefully, diligently. If he found one, he needed to make sure it was opened perfectly and then resealed so she would never know the difference. It wasn't that he didn't believe in fate, but sometimes even fate needs a guided push by the individual. He read the message inside:

"Take a deep breath," he read the message aloud. The car behind him started honking their horn. The light had turned green and he needed to be moving before the weather got worse. He took a deep breath, inhaled it, and cherished the taste of the chocolate. It was a moment of bliss in a panicked state. He had to get home, go through forty chocolates hoping he got the one foil wrapper he was looking for, and then have the manual dexterity to not rip it in half.

Another red light.

He opened the second chocolate and, remembering what the last message had said, took a deep breath.

True love is a bond that lasts forever.

Amazed and bewildered, he couldn't believe he had found the wrapper so easily. It wasn't the first one, but it wasn't a disappointment, either. He was thrilled for the wrapper, or rather the message, held sentimental value to the both of them. It made him think of the first time he had seen the message. It was a wrapper, just like the one he now held, which she had found one afternoon while he was at work. She took a picture with her phone and sent it to him. The picture was blurry and grainy, but the message came across clear.

He was there now. He pulled into the driveway and made his way inside with his bag of goodies. The second phase of his plan was to get the vase, get the note, and leave them where she would find them. It was the perfect setup. He made the bed and pulled the sheets back on her side. It was a quarter after five and she would be home at any minute. He had to hurry.

He pruned the roses in the kitchen, picked the best one, and placed it on top of the envelope next to the chocolate. On the front of the folded note, he left directions for her:

Open me.

And all he had to do was take a deep breath.

2/15/2010

I have what you've been looking for

How would you describe the human spirit? Kind and compassionate, tender and caring. Proud and tenacious, strong and free-willed. These are some of my thoughts.

However, more and more throughout our daily lives the "asshole" makes an appearance. Rude and obnoxious, cold and mean-spirited. Arrogant and selfish, insecure and, yes, still free-willed. Call me cynical, but the trend is apparent throughout modern society.

I believe there is a reason for everything. There are no coincidences. Maybe the rich, extravagant lifestyles of our cultural icons are merely compensation for something lacking in their personal lives. Perhaps those lonely souls who spend countless hours in fantasy video game worlds have finally found a way to escape. Maybe, just maybe, we're all just looking for something.

What are you looking for?

As for me? I think I've found it at Brampton Lane, :)

10/16/2009

Understanding Cold Hands & Warm Hearts

One of the biggest issues with people are their emotions. Either too much or not enough, emotions seem to provide the necessary drive to make it through the daily stresses of life. What emotions do you feel at present? And when you first awoke today? How are they different and why?

“Cold hands, warm heart.”

For one who may be cold on the outside may surely be warm on the inside.


It was 3:30 in the morning when the alarm on my phone sounded, a little ditty resembling an electric piano began playing. I desperately struggled to dismiss the alarm, but it was too late-my baby had woke up next to me. We kissed and exchanged those three little words in quiet whispers. I felt at peace.

"Cold hands mean a warm heart," she said, taking my hand into hers. Several weeks earlier we sat on the couch, looking one another in the eyes as if trying to peer into the depths of our very souls. She folded one leg underneath her, my legs outstretched in front of me as if I were buckled in an automobile. "What? Oh, yeah," I said, a little off guard.

The significance of that phrase never left my thoughts and here I was again, nearly 3:30 AM and the temperature having dropped rapidly, curious whose hands were cold despite the complete and utter warmth we enjoyed.

Chill bumps began to surface among our entire bodies despite the closeness we endured. Every hair on our arms standing on end, gleaming in the pale moonlight. The warmth began to change. It began to seep into the very essence of our souls -- we were one in our hearts and minds, if only for a moment, if only forevermore.

9/08/2009

Not-So-Happy Birthday to Me


Still celebrating birthdays? Whether young or old, birthdays are special--a celebration of the day you were brought into the world. Still, as we get older do we celebrate less the gift of life?

This is something I'm currently struggling with. Today at 11:52 I turn 25 years old. Wow-big whoop, huh? Do you remember what your 25th was like? What emotions do you recall coming to surface?

“It's a little sad.”

25, single, with no house to call my own. Pretty decent financially without major rent, etc. from living in the city, but how can I get my life to move fast-forward without losing precious time?

It's tough, and I have to think to myself, "Can I be happy with nothing to my name except a family?" And then I have to ask, "Would it be enough for 'her'?"

9/04/2009

Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidence.


Ever exclaimed, "What a coincidence!" or heard that sissy version, "What a co-inky-dink!" and became speechless? I have.

Whether you were dreaming of Chinese food only to find a voicemail from your spouse asking what kind of take-out you would like for supper or your birth date shows up as a customer's order number, we have all experienced them at one point or another in our lives. Those completely unrelated events which come together at the same time. Coincidences.
“I don't believe in coincidence.”
Cymatics is the study of sound and vibration in visual form. A pinch of salt, for example, on a surface affected by various audible frequencies can be manipulated to form patterns. These patterns represent an emerging trend of expression and have become an art form over the last decade.

Alva Noto is a musician who practices the use of cymatics as an artistic medium. Noto creates music through the use of electronic transmissions--a fax modem or telephonic beeps and clicks, etc. He uses mathematical logic to add rhythm & blues or hip-hop grooves to his music. Think of it as the industrial metal of the Euro electronica outfit, perfectly choreographed. Quoting Noto:
“It is such a complex matter we live within, it is impossible to track logic and decision making really, so therefore each choice can actually only be seen as coincidence.”
I take this to mean that the patterns in life we cannot explain, we label as "coincidence." Quite simply because we have no other explanation. I could go all religious, and I will, and state that God works in wondrous ways. I could also say I am a victim of comic culture, stealing the lines from Batman (loosely quoted): I don't believe in coincidence.

Do you?

8/29/2009

Top Five Recommendations for a Blackberry


As a relative newcomer to smartphones I took it upon myself to start digging. The first step was obviously to find a phone that both worked in my area and worked for my wants and needs. Luckily I found that in the Blackberry Curve 8330, though any similar Blackberry will work I felt I needed the full-size keyboard along with a camera and video recorder. Blackberries really are as easy to use as most say.

  1. LCD Screen Guard
    Having a protective layer of film over the screen is essential to keeping the display scuff-free. There are different types of screen guards which offer mirror reflections or blur the screen for privacy from nearby busy-bodies trying to see what you're up to. A great investment to ensure the life of your Blackberry (even though replacement screens can be found on eBay for $5).

  2. Holster/Carrying Case
    Unless you really like the pouch that probably came with your Blackberry, having a better case or holster for your belt is a big plus. However, not just any case is worth buying--make sure to get one that puts the unit in Sleep mode to conserve battery life!

  3. Memory Card
    Having additional storage is a must-have for anyone wishing to use their handset to the fullest. A cheap, four gigabyte chip could provide endless photos and decent video recording. They can be gotten at a local retail store for $25 or more--but on eBay for half that price. Shop around and save some major cash for this basic upgrade.

  4. Car Charger w/ IC Chip
    While many people now use a Blackberry for personal use, and are not far from a charging outlet for long, I recommend a car charger because browsing websites and other activities can really use up the battery. An "IC" chip will prevent overcharging of the battery.

  5. Extended Battery
    Giving yourself a second battery is a great idea, but having one that is even better than stock is a plus. Check eBay, cautiously, and enjoy a cheap, yet functional replacement allowing you to surf YouTube even longer.

8/25/2009

He said he wants a Pepsi!

Click for the full imageNot sure why this was never posted (February 2006). From memory:
  • 3x Days with a new car
  • 2x Dysfunctional airbags
  • 2x Broken vertebrae
  • 1x Broken clavicle
  • 1x Ruptured adrenal gland
  • 1x Severed ear
  • 1x Major laceration (hand)
  • 1x Concussion (w/ PTSD)
  • 1x Sharp head trauma
  • 1x Blunt head trauma
. . .and an EMT on a helicopter shouting, “He said he wants a Pepsi!”

True story—priceless.